Because You Broke Me
by JustMeMarissa
Summary: Everything didn't matter anymore. It was all meaningless. Because you broke me.


I will walk and talk and go on like everything is fine. But it's not. It will never be fine again. Because you broke me.

Once, we could walk and talk and everything would be fine. Because we were in love. Or so I thought.

It all started with a forgotten birthday. I reminded you that today was my birthday. I didn't know you very well, but I wanted to. So I let you know. In a playful manner I pretended to be upset about it and you came. Laughing together en talking for hours. Then, you kissed me and I was in heaven.

What I thought was a beginning of something nice and perhaps something lasting, was the beginning of the end. You stopped walking and talking. Not with everyone, just with me. I was the secret, the shame as you later told me. You were sorry for everything, you didn't want me.

It wouldn't be that bad if you didn't begin to break me at that point. First there were little reminders of how I wasn't perfect and how I would never be, in anyone's opinion according to you. And I believed you. What else? I didn't have experience with anything like this. At night I would wonder how I could be better, smarter, prettier and just more perfect. Because I wanted to be. For you.

After this came the mental abuse. No more little snide remarks, but full blown humiliation. It didn't matter what, as long as I would cry and suffer. And I did. Because after all the hurt, I still cared what you had to say. I thrived upon it. But you showed all of your true colors and they weren't beautiful as I pictured them to be. They were dark and overshadowed with hate, anger and cruelty.

One person still believed in me. My best friend. Everyone said a girl and a guy couldn't be friends. But we were the exception as I like to think. We were opposite in every way, from our clashing red, on my side, and white-blond hair, on yours, to your laid back spirit against my perfectionist nature. Coming from two completely different sides, literally because of our families, we still were best friends. A Weasley and a Malfoy.

No matter what, he believed. Only his believe couldn't stop me from hearing, experiencing and accepting your hatred towards me. After once again a public humiliation you walked up to me, when I tried to get away. You whispered to me that I would never be more than a low life, a nobody. And nobody wanted a nobody.

That was the last time I broke down in public. After that I withdrew myself. I withdrew myself from my classmates, my huge family, my best friend and just from life in general. I didn't become a loner. I still sat with everybody in the Great Hall during meals and in the classrooms during our lessons. But I never showed emotion again. I had withdrawn myself from that. No more emotion. It was the only way I knew how to handle life anymore.

You lost interest when you saw I didn't respond anymore to your comments and actions. Not even when you got a girlfriend and sauntered with her through the hallways. You lost interest to provoke me, because I didn't react. I showed no emotion.

My best friend got worried. He noticed the change, the withdrawal. But I reassured him that everything was fine. That I was over it and over you. I convinced him that I had moved on. He was wary and not completely sure of my explanation, but he let it be. He no longer pushed me to tell him, he truly believed that I was healing. Not better as I wanted him to believe, but at least he thought I was getting there.

I saw the love in his eyes for me, his best friend. Love that went deeper than that. But I couldn't handle emotions. They only hurt you in the end.

Some days I lie in bed early in the morning, hoping it is all a dream. But it never is. Everyone moved on with their lives, but not me. I was stuck in a one way nightmare, with no chance of waking up. My best friend will try to wake me up, he will try his hardest. Maybe eventually he will give up, because he knows that I am a lost case. Maybe he will hold on, because he loves me that much that he doesn't want to let go. Only time will tell.

Even though we will never walk and never talk again, because you lost interest in every way, I will never forget you. Not because I still hold on to my make believe picture perfect. No, I'm not stupid. I have realized what kind of person you truly are. But, never will I forget.

So, I will walk and talk and go on like everything is fine. But it's not. It will never be fine again.

Because you broke me.

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_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything related. Only the storyline. _


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